


Forever is a long time to be alone

by Jamilton_and_Lams



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander is alone, Canonical Character Death, Enemies to Acquaintances to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, More coming soon - Freeform, Preview, Slow Burn, Thomas Jefferson is 'immortal', but also canon era, but he's seen a lot of shit, he's still an asshole, just warning you, kinda soulmate AU, so has alexander, this ain't a very happy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-10-14 17:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17512547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton_and_Lams/pseuds/Jamilton_and_Lams
Summary: Alexander survived the revolutionary war. Barely.It took everything from him and George plans on keeping his Aide (and his friend) busy and his mind fully occupied so he isn't left dwelling alone on the past.Then He's elected for President and drags Alex along for the ride.Enter Thomas Jefferson.Cursed to live a 10,000 lives alone. Every so often there comes a chance for freedom. Love. His soulmate.They don't always look the same and they appear under different names but if he finds them the curse breaks.But the catch is they have to fall in love firstBut as soon as his soul mates heart stops, the curse resumes.





	1. Prologue: The letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immigrants -we get the job done  
> Laf is drunk  
> washington just wants to sleep  
> Laf is also making random toasts  
> Hercules teases Alex  
> My boys are drunk
> 
> oooh and the general recieves a letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: ooh look at this - i have so much study to do - i'm going to procrastinate  
> me: *daydreaming*  
> me: holy shit i have to write this shit down

**5th November, 1781:**

The war was over and Alex couldn’t be happier. The celebrations were still on-going everywhere and Alex was sure hadn’t been sober in at least 4 days.

“Raise a glass to Moi”

Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette stood on one of the tables in the middle of the bar. He had a mug full of beer in one hand that was raised to the sky and his other hand rested on his sword hilt.

“Ayee” The cheer resonated through the bar.

Alex laughed from his place on the floor. Hercules was eging on their friend, shouting out prompts for more and more toasts.

John would love this.

He grinned. As soon as John made it back from South Carolina the real party would start.

“Raise a glass to… to…” he wobbled and nearly lost his balance before righting himself. “Raise  a glass to the general”

The cheering increased and General Washington lifted an arm in recognition before resuming the nap he had been taking at the table.

“Raise a glass to the immigrants who get things done”

Alex blew a mocking kiss at his friend who winked back at him.

“Raise a glass to the best damn spy we had”

Hercules took a bow.

“Raise a glass to Guns and ships”

“Raise a glass to yourselves - the best of the best - who fought all the way to the end”

“Raise a glass to our fallen brothers”

The bar went silent as everyone took a moment to reflect on the friends and family lost. Alex was thankful his brothers had all made it through. He wouldn’t know what he’d do if he had lost them.

“Raise a - “

Lafayette let out a giggle, fell off the table and landed on Alex who yelled and hit him on the head.

“Get off of me you french prat”

“Non. mon petite lion is very comfy. Merci and bon nuit”

Alex gestured at Herc who was still too busy laughing at Laf’s gracious departure from the limelight. Finally after catching his breath, between the two of them they managed to haul him up.

“Okay someone tell the General we are bringing him back to the camp to let him sleep it off.” Hercules called out. There was no response, the men too caught up in the celebrations.

Alex grinned at his friend. “I can’t wait till John gets back. He’ll put us all to shame when it comes to the celebrations.”

Herc laughed and nearly dropped Lafayette. “You’re right - John is going to end up dead on the floor by the time he returns. We won’t be able to get him out of the bar for a good week.”

He leaned across Laf and pulled on the end of Alex’s ponytail.

“Oi!”

“But we know why-”

“Herc -”

“you  miss him so much -”

“Hercules -”

“Your bed must be so cold…” Hercules grinned over at his friend who was looking mortified.

“You are so lucky i’m holding this idiot right now” Alex hissed as he felt his face heat up.

Hercules laughed again. “I’m only teasing little lion! We all miss John, and we know how you guys feel about each other. Just be careful - not everyone is as accepting as we…”

“I just miss him…” the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. His fears and dreads… the pit in his stomach that grew and grew as each day passed and more soldiers arrived to celebrate, as others left and as John never arrived….

“And I am worried about him…  I have this pit in my stomach Herc… I don’t know” he tried to brush it off “i’m probably just tired”

“Raise a glass to that!”

Alex dropped him.

“Your fucking baguette I swear-”

“Oooh Alexander you must visit France! I will give you the best french bagette you have ever tasted… oh Herc you can come too… and our dear Laurens of course- speaking of… where is he? They should have been here by now, word was sent as soon as they surrendered-” he stopped speaking suddenly and looked down to realise he was sitting in a puddle of water. “Alexander why am I on the floor?”

And looking at the man who had nearly single-handedly helped win the war, sitting on his ass in the middle of the street with his hair all over the place… Alex couldn’t help but laugh.

**************************************************************************

A week later he was woken by a very french, very sleepy voice complaining.

“C’est too bright- knock it off” Laf whined.

“It's the sun Laf, get a grip. It's your own fault anyway, we told you drinking with Tallmadge was a bad idea; but did you listen?” he could _hear_ Herc rolling his eyes.

The man slipped into french, cursing the sun for a minute straight before Herc interrupted him.”Laf I only understood about 5 words.”

“Well I understood it all and it was a very entertaining way to be woken up. Merci Laf”

“See - our little lion understands humour- now will somebody knock me out? I need sleep”

They were interrupted by George Lewis running into their tent. “Oh thank God you guys are here! My uncle- I mean the general wants to talk to you Alexander. And he said to bring Lafayette and Mulligan as well”

Looking at each other and shrugging Herc and Alex started to gather their uniforms. Lafayette on the other hand threw his blankets over his head and started grumbling in french.

“Do you know what it's about George?” Alex inquired.

“No. but it was a letter from the south. He went quite pale when he read it and sent a group of the aides out to search for you guys. I just happened to think of your tent first - knowing what Lafayette is like in the mornings.”

Lafayette threw his blankets off him and shot a look at Herc who’s eyes had widened. Alex on the other hand had stilled.

“Alex i’m sure he’s fine, it could be about a number of things…” Laf knew he was lying to himself.

A letter from the south that would call for Alex and their immediate attention. A letter that would have the General sending his Aides all over camp looking for them.

“Come on Alex, we better not keep the general waiting.” Hercules Prompted gently.

Alex got dressed in a daze and followed his friends to the Generals tent.

“I’m sorry son.”

It was an affirmation on his fears. His legs buckled and Herc barely caught him. He didn’t even bother to correct the general with his usual “i’m not your son”

“General, can we see the letter?” Laf asked quietly.

“Of course my dear Marquis. Bring Alexander back into the study and i’ll give you boys some privacy”

Nearly carrying him, Hercules manages to get Alex in the Generals private office.

“Will one of you’s read it?” Alex’s voice is low, barely distinguishable and it's obvious he’s on the verge of breaking.

Lafayette holds the letter out to Hercules and sits down beside Alex. Hercules unfolds the letter.

 

_"On Tuesday, the twenty-seventh, Lieutenant Colonel John Laurens was killed in a gunfight against British troops in South Carolina.”_

 

Alex drops his head into his hands as he feels the tears pool. He knew something was wrong when John hadn’t replied to his letter.

“But the war was over…” Laf whispered agast, from beside Alex. he was rubbing soothing circles into his back trying to calm him down

 

_“These troops had not yet received word from Yorktown that the war was over. He's buried here until his family can send for his remains”_

 

Alex let out a sob and Laf wrapped him in a hug. “Finish the letter mon Ami”

 

_“As you may know, Lieutenant Colonel Laurens was engaged in recruiting three thousand men for the first all-black military regiment.”_

 

“That’s my Jacky” Alex choked out. “We were going to change the world we were…”

“Shit! What the fuck?” Herc was staring at something on the page.

“What is it Herc? What’s wrong?”

Alex’s mind was spinning - how could this get worse? His best friend was dead. His lover was dead.

The man he loved was buried in a shallow grave waiting for Henry fucking Laurens of all people to collect it.

Collect him.

“The - the last line - I can’t even…” he handed the letter to Laf before storming out of the office. Laf scanned it before muttering a quick “merde” under his breath.

“What. Happened.”

Laf only passed him the letter.   

 

 _“The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters_ _."_

 

The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters _._

 **The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters** **.**

Alex saw red.

Then the full weight of the letter hit him and he pushed it to the back of his mind. He curled up in a ball and stared at the wall.

“I miss him so much”  

Laf curled up beside him and placed his head of curls on Alex’s shoulder. He could feel the wet patch from Laf’s silent tears spreading but he couldn’t bring himself to look at him.

“Me too mon Petit lion. Me too”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it just me or is the off-broadway Laurens interlude just so much sadder??


	2. Prologue: The French

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm.... I wonder what Thomas got up to in France?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its set over roughly 13 years - from him sitting down to write the deceleration of independence to when he receives the letter to be secretary of state.  
> Its a weird format but it should be easy enough to follow.

**March 1776:**

 

A declaration. They wanted him to help write a declaration for human rights. He almost laughed at the irony.

He doubted he could even be called that anymore.

Human.

 

**October 1781:**

 

Thomas sat back in his chair and rubbed at his eyes. So they had won the war. They were free. He tried to force himself to feel something but honestly… it was just another war. He had seen countless before he’d see countless more. 

He wondered how long the peace would last.

 

**January 1782:**

 

He looked at the letter in his hand from his friend. He was visiting. Gilbert was finally visiting his home. Now that brought a smile to his face. He didn’t make friends easily and so was surprised when instead of sending a letter the french man had showed up at his office one day. The general wanted to know if he could help supply the troops with anything and-

Honestly though he missed his doppelganger. It was an odd time if he found one. Faces were reused and every so often he would walk down the street and see someone he should know. His mother. A cousin. A childhood friend. 

Himself. 

Lafayette of course thought it was hilarious how similar they looked. The joy on the younger mans face was painful to see, because all it reminded him of was when  _ he  _ was happy. With Marie. John. Alec. Jade. Sean. Michael. Hannah. 

Everytime it was a different face.

Everytime he watched them die. 

Sometimes they would remember.

Sometimes they wouldn’t. 

He turned back to his letter. According to the letter Laf should be arriving today. Smiling he grabs his coat and strides to the door as he hears the carriage coming down the pathways.

Thomas blended into the crowd. It was easy enough to spot the overly excited french man coming out of the carriage. Dulled blue uniform jacket tied around his waist and a cream blouse. Lafayette is scanning the crowd and - Thomas waves in greeting and Laf’s eyes light up.

“Thomas!! Mon Ami!” he races down the path, miraculously missing his bags and Thomas’s plants. All too soon he is pulled into one of Gilbert's bone crushing hugs.  Then they start the walk through the gardens to Thomas’s home. Monticello. 

“It's good to see you Gilbert. How is George?” 

“Busy. He’s in the middle of peace negotiations. I’ll probably be back and forth for a while but for now…” 

Thomas knows that look. He has seen it many times over the years on his own face. Loss. he has lost someone close to him during the war. He opens his front door and leads Gilbert in. 

“Who was it Gilbert?” 

“You’re as perceptive as ever my friend. His name was John Laurens - you may know his father, Henry Laurens of South Carolina. John was one my brothers you could say… Alex is devastated of course, they were lovers.” His frown deepens and he sinks into one of the couches in the sitting room. “Hercules is staying with him at the moment, and George is keeping him busy, but I needed to get out for a while.” He looks up to him. “Does that make me a bad friend Thomas? To leave while he is hurting?”

Thomas quickly sits down beside him. “You are hurting as well Gilbert. You are allowed time to heal”

“I-I know… I am just… tired - do you mind if I retire early tonight? 

“Of course not Gil. Come, i’ll help you bring your bags to your room"

 

**July 1784:**

 

He still couldn’t believe that out of everyone they could have chosen to stay in France they chose him. The only reason he even knew french was because he had spent the last century living there. 

That was why he had moved to America… 

He rolled his eyes. He just couldn’t catch a break. 

King Louis XVI.

How bad could it be?

Looking at the letter he had received from Benjamin Franklin he rolled his eyes. If this all went to shit he’d kill him.

 

**May 1785:**

 

The residence he had managed to rent was undoubtedly one of the best things he could have done. The Hôtel de Langeac. 

Oh and the stories he heard. The palace was a hub of gossip. All he had to do was mention a name to someone and he’d receive their full backstory.

Take Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette. His full name a  jem. The stories he heard though… 

The first time he arrived at the court he had been approached by at least three different women who attempted to slap him. His young friend was a heart-breaker.

And married. He had been surprised to say the least when a hand had pulled him into a bedroom and attempted to unbuckle his pants. Poor Adrienne had been embarrassed but now.. She was his source of embarrassing stories of Gilbert. 

From being laughed off the dance floor by the queen to him enlisting Adrienne to help dress him as a woman so he could join the revolution.

 

**August 1786:**

 

Well he had certainly found another benefit to being in France. Maria Cosway. She definitely not his soulmate but damn… she was good in bed.

 

**November 1787:**

 

Adrienne makes him Macaroni and cheese. Thomas falls in love and asks Adrienne to either marry him or teach him how to make it. 

What proceeds is a 2 hour lesson that Thomas vows never to forget. 

 

**June 1787:**

 

He employs a  local girl Sally Hemmings to help keep the home in order and cook dinner, god knows he doesn’t have enough time to do it anymore. 

Ever since Gilbert returned he had both Adrienne and him over most nights. Or they were out in one of the quaint little bars. 

As much as they hated to admit it, Adrienne could drink both of them under the table. He could see why Gilbert was so in love with her.

 

**February 1788:**

 

Thomas offers Gilbert the use of The Hôtel de Langeac during the French Revolution. Better his friend be safe if wanted to get caught up in another war so soon. Soon after he realises that people are reading his mail. 

He quickly devises a code and hands it to Gilbert in person. “I call it the wheel cypher” 

 

**April 1788:**

 

Thomas fires Sally Hemmings after finding out she was stealing his artifacts and selling them. He decides not to press charges but lets her off with a warning. 

He doesn’t remember what it's like to be poor anymore but he knows at one point, a long time ago he was. He remembers trying to build a life with his soulmate and stealing from the wrong person… 

 

**July 1789:**

 

Finally! Gilbert and Thomas complete the declaration. They celebrate by getting drunk with Adrienne.

Or them getting drunk. Adrienne just laughed at their stupidity. 

 

**September 1789:**

 

It's a tearful goodbye. Some of the best friends he has ever made, in as long as he can remember and he’s leaving them behind. There are promises to visit and an exchange of presents. 

And Thomas is homeward bound. He doesn’t plan to stay long, long enough to file his report and then… back to Paris. To his friends.

His plans are dashed as soon as he returns to Monticello. The letter. Secretary of State. Huh. 

Doesn’t sound too bad.

What could possibly go wrong?


End file.
